|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Depression PatientDepression Patient
The book says:
list the positive things
in my life.
1.I am loved.
2.I can be happy.
3.I'm a decent person.
4.My life is worth something.
Most find this list
I must remind myself…
of what is obvious
The NihilistThe Nihilist
The world beautiful amidst all its lies.
The beautiful world that I now despise.
I see the world now in all its decay,
Yet everyone still fools themselves, to my dismay.
Life is such a short mean thing.
Happiness is a brief lapse in our suffering.
I have no right to despair,
As the fabric of my reality tears.
I have no right to feel,
I should be strong enough to deal.
There is no reason to life;
All humans filled with struggle and strife.
Our sin is existing.
Our punishment is living.
I need to find peace; I must!
Dust to dust, as we all fall into dust.
Human ClockworkHuman Clockwork
She walks, she stumbles, she falls.
She can't get up.
She can't stay down.
It's the ugly place in between.
Cascading sorrow, empty hope.
It's a dysfunctional heart.
She was a machine.
She followed a routine.
A gear breaks apart and flies.
The battery fizzles and dies.
Oh, it had a wretched distraction.
Oh, it should have stopped the interaction.
This machine has been destroyed.
All that's left is a void.
It's quite hollow and vacant.
Though the parts still move.
A vase is shattered.
The contents don't leak out.
It just stays there, suspended;
Forever, in dismal anticipation.
My Valentine DarkensMy Valentine Darkens
Flashy heart-shaped boxes lay scattered about,
Discarded cards sit upon mantle-tops and tables.
Valentine's day is over, along with its cheap gimmicks.
All that's left for Valentines is a dull pain.
It was that deep scratching sensation.
In the back of my head.
Every other moment it'd remind me.
It'd remind me of something I could never have.
On Valentine's Day, my resolve weakened.
On Valentine's Day, my mental strength ebbed.
All of it just came bleeding out.
My emotions take me and almost break me.
Invisible daggers cause invisible wounds.
You can't see the blood I bleed.
You can't see my growing anguish.
Why must you be so irresistible to me?
Countless times, I have tried to make this go away.
I keep on trying, but I know it won't leave.
Over-played pretences and fading hope of release.
I continue to suppress it all.
On Valentine's Day, I dug a grave.
I tossed my blackened heart towards it.
And you, you threw dirt over it.
It's so dark and cold here in
Illogical AgonyIllogical Agony
Waiting, waiting.., waiting;
I look up to find hell in heaven.
Clouds aflame, stars askew in a myriad of spectrums
A vortex of souls spinning on in endless monotony;
If I only knew the nature of this horror…
If I only knew the nature of this chaos…
Perhaps, I could leave this place.
Meaningless rivers run down my visage.
The tiniest spark of hope has vanished,
Even before being seen.
Keep in Touch!